my birthday..

May 7th was my birthday. A typical monday, nothing speacial. I slept in as usual, until about noon. I woke up to my daughter holding a shoe box. Inside she had gently placed a beaded braclet and a pair of earings she had made out of wire and beads. She was so proud of her efforts and so was I. It feels good to have someone remember your birthday and put some effort into making you feel speacial. Unfortunatley, that was the only present or recognition I got that day. I went through my day sad and depressed until God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that I had already been given the best gift that anyone could get. I am a chosen daughter of God, precious in his eyes. What more could a girl ask for? my Heavenly Father loves me so much that he gave up his son to die for me. WOW, when you really let that reality get ahold of you, it makes you a little weak in the knees. But, this is my reality every year on my birthday. I get sad because it is just like very other day, not speacial at all. Growing up with a drug addicted mother was hard. My bithday and holidays were the one time that she always managed to pull her self together long enough to show me I was important. I always had presents and cake and all the fuss, even if she had to sell her drugs to pull it off. How do you get rid of that connection in your heart? that thing that runs so deep that says if nobody got you anything or gave you cake then , they dont care and you are not important. I have tried for years to rationalize it out of my belief system, it hasnt worked. I have prayed for God to take it from me, he hasnt. I guess for now I will just have to look for the lesson in the pain and remember that God cares about me and thinks I am very important.

great weekend

hey guys,

Well this past weekend our parent Connection group had a blast. We sent all the men and boys on a camp out, and all the girls and women had a sleepover. We had a lot of fun and most importantly we experienced a real time of bonding. I learned things about the women I thought I knew. We played Joel Osteen's board game " Your Best Life Now". Although it took a while for us to get the directions down pat, we really dug deep and had some great discussions and time of letting go. We enlarged our vision and learned to turn a negative into a positive. (-; Our boys had a very productive time as well. My husband as well as one of our other members quit smoking during the camp out. Praise God. That is a true testimony to the power of accountability among the body. They needed to be surrounded by all their brothers and have the support of praying men in order to quit. Please agree with me that they will stay quit and not take the addiction back. I truly believe God can keep them pure. We have an awesome event coming up that we intend to serve in called the GGA. I know that this event will bring us all together in a new and deeper way. I am excited to tell you all about it. Bye for now.